Black Friday Turkey Specials

Gutt bursting. Quiet gratitude. Warm family love. Doesn't it seem like Black Friday is like a bitchy ex-girlfriend showing up at your brother's wedding? I yearn for the simpler life, but don't want to pass up the opportunity to save some bucks. How come the pretty and long-lasting wood toys are never in the ads? I'm sick of stupid cartoon-licensed plastic crap.

Do I sound grateful?

I had a turkey cook-off with my mom today. My tiny girl turkey vs. mom's store-bought. Pretty oval platter split down the middle with my bird vs. Norbest. From family consensus of grandma, parents, cousins, auntie, and uncle...my turkey won. Plus it didn't live in a cage and get pumped with antibiotics. Go me.

Last year I experimented with Black Friday sales here. I am crossing my fingers that my post-script tip holds true this year as well.

As for tomorrow? I am torn and will wait to see if I can scrape my body off the sheets early enough for some deals I perused in the paper today. However, I must add that there are some deals online that I must must must share. Hot! Hot! tomorrow only. Plus no crazies.

Don't miss Deal #1

4-disc : HBO mini-series : award-winning : patriotic must-have : everyone who sees it loves it : blip and clip review here : "John Adams" on sale at Amazon for $18.99. That's over half off and well worth it. 501 minutes = over 8 hours of viewing pleasure.

If you are on my list this year, there's a good chance you're getting this just because I think it's necessary for any educated kid in the U.S. to see it. And any history buff. Or educated adult. Find the love right here.

Don't miss Deal #2

HBO does it again with hilarious duo, and real-life band, or musical two-some. Whatever you call them, they are definitely adorably nerdy and are "Flight of the Conchords". That's the band name and the name of this show. Season 1 & 2 are on sale for $9 tomorrow at Amazon online, or Target stores. In case they are news to you, feel the love below:

Stay in your seat and click here for Season One happiness. Season two is here.

Don't miss Deal #3

That adorable bucket has 2 seatbelts!

First, this bike ships fully assembled and ready to ride. The shipping costs are not clear to me...but this I know, they have never offered this beauty at this low cost before. $400 off the regular price of $1,299=$899. Begin the process of using your car less, letting your kids unplug and enjoy the outdoors, and possibly getting some exercise while running errands with the Madsen Cream-Colored Bucket Seat Bike(cream color only). Link is here.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Quick Link List: John Adams, S1-Conchords, S2-Conchords, Madsen Bike.

Post-Edit: When I first posted this late last night after getting 5 hours of sleep the night before, I thought the ad said the bike was $400...not $400 OFF. Lame. Still an awesome deal but not quite so screaming. Also, shipping costs are usually around $150, and ship out of Salt Lake City.

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Economy on and off the farm

So my folks are retired, and most of my friends parents are in retirement. For this generation of baby boomers, their lifetimes represent a major shift from rural areas, some having left the farm for college (both of my folks did) and make their way in a less dirty world to be coaches, teachers, shopowners, and the like. For people like my parents that grew up on the farm, they had to learn that:

life on the farm also left you thin and tan: ooh-la-la

• Life on the farm teaches you to work, and save...but not invest
• And by practicing these farm ethics, along with the wisdom of Wall Street, they would have a healthy nest egg in which to retire


• I really have no idea if my folks lost their shirt with all this stock market crap, and frankly it's not really any of my business. But I do know that they had some in the market...


• I bet they're a little annoyed right now


• Are you retired? Are you annoyed?


• I can't help notice that folks are "reverting" back to those sound farm principles of work and save. And throw cash under their mattress and save.


• Which makes me wonder: What will hard-working middle classers will consider as the next "Wall Street" for the future generations, the greatest, smartest, biggest returnest way to prepare for their yellow brick road?

In essence, AIG, and all their buddies......suck.

I wish my chickens could peck their...big toes until they bleed really bad (that was me practicing internet restraint).

And while X-Network and Y-Network cover their stories blaming X-Party or Y-Administration or What-Ever I have to public endorse a couple of networks and/or broadcasts simply because they're removed enough to back away from partisan dirt-slinging. They're more free to call it as it is.

First endorsement coming from your up-to-the-latest news expert who primarily changes poopie diapers (that's me) is BBC News. I like them because they seem to be removed enough to not play into party politics, and I appreciate that!

Okay next, I loved the following broadcast from Jon Stewart of Comedy Central. I am throwing FOUR links which seemed to stem from his own frustration at how his mother's nest egg was thrown to the crows with corrupt corporations, banks, and insurance companies...now thriving on your (and my) dime.

**WARNING** these are laden with cowboy swear words. And my LAST link actually drops a couple F-bombs. Fabulous story and interview evolves with these (long) clips, so if you have littles around throw on some headphones. p.s. I am a proud endorser and watcher of clean entertainment. Watch up to 3 and then decide if it's worth it if you are a sensitive viewer.

First link where Stewart mocks CNBC presenting themselves as "in-the-know" for all things financial is here.

The eventual interview with Cramer from Fast Money is here (part one interview), here (part 2 interview), and here (part 3 interview with some extra spicy language).

....and speaking of life on the farm, Good News! Our new Prez just passed a law making it illegal to allow "downer cows" (aka cows too sick or dying to even stand) to make into our food chain. You can reminisce when Mrs. Olsen brought home industrial devil chickens home here. While there, please watch an informative video about animals intended for our plates, and how their life is sad :(

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Coupon: FREE Stress and Sugar Highs!

Since I'm trying to beef the savings account, we decided to cut our weekly budget for groceries, gasoline, and entertainment to this man:

Former President Ulysses S. Grant, or our weekly 50-spot. Speaking of Presidents, I have been uplifted as an American, as a human, and as a worker bee by the inauguration of President Barack Obama. I hope you all were able to enjoy it.

But back to Ulysses...some of you have asked how it's been going?

A) I have a lot of food storage: frozen beef, frozen chicken, wheat, flour, sugar etc. That helps! I haven't had to purchase any of these since I started.

B) Having Christmas (including specific food assignments for parties) have loosened the strict budget some weeks. My latest distraction? An indian cooking class last week. I just had to invest in some extra spices and ingredients. All in all, we've stayed pretty close to our budget.

C) Gas is cheap. Limiting driving is essential i.e. when Rainbow Girl has to get into town for choir, we try to get groceries, deliver eggs, at the same time. There has been at least a couple weeks when I said: Sheesh, I'm keeping my fifty for food, and giving myself a free fill-up. I also have tried to cut my ignition in the school pickup lane, or even if I'm at a red light for more than 15 seconds.

D) I'm completely annoyed with coupon-heads. Coupon-heads, defend yourself! I really thought this exercise would force me to be the primo bargain shopper, and have followed lead to the big sales....only to find it's like Black Friday all over again. Sorry, everything on sale disappeared by 8 a.m. At some point, I got a package of thank you coupons from Smith's Marketplace and I got to get 4 things, no strings, for FREE. Those were 1) E.L. Fudge Cookies 2) Twenty-Four Pack of Coca Cola 3) Nature Valley Granola Bars 4) Ritz Crackers. Which tells you something.

Coupons lead you to buy processed sugary foods that make you fat.

Hello? Of course I love E.L. Fudge Cookies. And okay, okay, crackers and granola bars aren't sooo bad....but I prefer to delight when apples are 99cents a pound.

For instance, I overhead one Coupon-Head talking about how much her kids wanted cottage cheese to go on sale, because they liked it so much. Okay my sweets! I'll look for a coupon! We shall eat some cottage cheese by this summer I promise! And although I want to save $45 per transaction, is this really the culture I need to be successful? Can you really not buy your kids a calcium-rich, low-fat, proteined-packed snack because it's not on sale?

Okay, I still love you. Keep saving money and once in a while I'll remember to buy Life Cereal at a buck-fifty before the sale ends...but sometimes I wonder.

and lastly...

E) Thus far, we have saved a Grover Cleveland...almost. So something's working.

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Out from the Shadows: Part Two or "My Affair with Ulysses"

So the secret is out on my brother. He's a cheapskate. Don't worry Clay, you're miserly ways are going to be my guiding star.

You see, me and The Mister of the House have decided to try a little experiment. After reading an article about a family that decided to spend no money for a month (or at least try), then coming across the blog of a coupon queen who kept a strict budget even as a free-wheelin' college student, along with the constant example of my penny-pinching (or at least penny-whining) brother, I've decided to spare myself and family with the constant swipe of the plastic. Credit and debit included.

Hello basic math skills, let's get some practice counting change, adding bills, because we're going green for all of these purchases. CASH ONLY PLEASE:

• Groceries
• Gasoline
• Entertainment

This is my new boyfriend. I go for the ornery distinguished older men...with power. Former President Ulysses S. Grant, will you please make sure I don't live off Top Ramen and get bloated?

Every Monday, I'm withdrawing this bad boy from the bank and hoping he'll make it to Saturday. For all my: groceries, gas, and entertainment.

Oh Andrew, Ulysses was a bore! I had to exchange him for a little fun. Will you promise to stay with me until the end of the week? I'm tickling his chin. He's sort of smiling back, I think he likes it.

This is me on Tuesday after my hour-long primping routine in the morning. I'm already down five bucks after feeding me and the offspring with a five-dollar footlong. Thank you Subway.

Now it's Wednesday, and after being out of milk and bananas (the offspring's staple) I ran to the store. Only 30 bucks left and the local artisan gift market this weekend! Ahhhh!

So I'm still writing checks for my bills, but throughout the coming weeks we'll be analyzing to see if they are really essential, and they might be given the boot. Bills allowed:

• Heat and Utilities
• Power
• Student Loan (still!)
• Insurance
• Cable and Internet (cable?)
• Telephone
• Cell Phone (do we need both a landline and a cell phone?)
• Netflix (Where else can we get Monarch of the Glen and those crazy documentaries we love?)
• Mortgage

Since The Mister of the House works overtime and is out and about being a worker guy, we've thrown him a twenty to cover his lunches and expensive beverage choices (maybe time to switch to water buddy, I mean sweetie-pie).

As a safety net, we'll allow ONE REFUEL of ONE CAR per month, and a possible $100 splurge for Christmas gaps (we've mostly got it done though).

Am I already cheating? I'm scared. Does anyone want to be one of Clay's 'skates with me?

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Out from the Shadows: Part One

While in High School, I maintained my own circle of friends, had my own hobbies, got into my own trouble, and yet there was a shadow I could never quite fall out of. Besides my graduating peers, anyone older then me generally referred to me as "Clay's little sister". Clay was the Golden Son who played on the varsity team as a sophomore, was the only blue-eyed child of the entire family, and solidified his status as high school heart-throb by shopping for school clothes 100 miles away, over a dreaded winding mountain pass, among the hoity-toity shops in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Can you guess which one is Clay? I was only jealous of my golden-haired brother once. While in high school, I opened the fridge to behold a household rarity, root beer. Elated, I grabbed the can and started to pull the tab, only to have my mother rush me "I'm saving that for Clay! He has a game tonight!" True story. What the...?

After he served a two-year mission for our church, he repented of his previous vanity and vowed he would marry a humble farmer's daughter. Leave it to Clay to find the farmer's daughter who was also a 6-foot tall leggy basketball player who looked like she had grown up among Southern California's Malibu Daughters.

Cha-Ching! Good one bro. You scored.

Here's Clay at a recent High School Reunion. Fifteen + years later and he's still "The Man". Look at the sheen of his a) high thread count shirt and b) perfectly white teeth.

But I have a secret. A dirty little secret about my brother. Not even his old school buddies know. The family knows. The wife knows of course. Now you all will know!!! Mwaa-haa-haa

The guy's a cheap-skate. I pity his waitress.

Clay to offspring: You gonna share those mcnuggets? Get back to the dollar menu!

Offspring: Awww, dad come on. Can we have root beer to drink?

Clay to offspring: (pause) [shocked stifled laugh peeps from his bewildered face]

For the most part, his secret lays safely hidden due to long-tall Salina (see left).

The only thing you need to know about Salina, wife of Clay, is this:

The woman bore three children at once.

By my estimation that entitles her to at least a $10,000 shopping spree. I don't think she's there yet, she has to keep at it so Clay doesn't disappoint his graduating class by showing up in a plaid shirt with sweatpants. It could happen. His fashion sense left when he got the bill for the triplets.

As for Mrs. Olsen, I tend to fall on the long-tall Salina side of things. Aside from the groceries, the laundry, the diapering and loving...there's always something delightful to be had in exchange for some green. I must say that I keep waiting for that savings account to slowly grow from my steady drip of budgeting and cost-effectiveness. I keep waiting and it's not happenin'.

Okay, so we have a little set aside. But doggone it, it's not getting bigger. We try to avoid being the average rabid American consumer of Chinese goods, but month after month we keep asking ourselves the same thing: Where did our money go?

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