Monkey Love

After hearing approximately three anecdotes of young girls getting unauthorized backrubs from friend's fathers, brother, or peers, Mrs. Olsen established the NO SLEEPOVERS rule for her family. We make exceptions for Grandma's and close girlie cousins, but for the most part, it's just a part of life that will hopefully be norm when we make it to the dreaded teen years. Which is why it was such a rare treat for Rainbow Girl who got to have a sleepover with our little friends, Mabel and Nell.

Apparently, we also make exceptions for soul sisters who are desperately ill with a husband on a three-day business trip. Sally, I love you and you are in my prayers.


Like myself, Sally has a NO SLEEPOVERS rule, so I was actually flattered that we could break our rules together. Ssshhh! Don't tell our kids, we think they haven't figured it out. And would you just look at them? Amid the vomit of patterns in this picture, you will find 3 little girls who each found a soft friend to snuggle them through the night : unicorn, puppy, alligator.


Back in Rainbow Girl's bedroom, her usual snuggle buddies had a cold night alone on her bed.

Plushie on the left? From Grandma Anderson. On the right? Grandma Cozy. And in the middle? Mrs. Olsen's first love.


As a kid, my family squeaked out of Apache Avenue to visit our big city cousins in Albuquerque. While there, we visited a rare building called..... a mall. And for some unknown reason to me, my mother pointed to a huge wall of stuffed animals and told me and my sister Niki "Go and pick whatever animal you want!"


I couldn't believe it. There were rows and rows of squishy animals that weren't boring teddy bears! I swiftly picked this monkey and christened him with what I considered to be the coolest and funniest name I could come up with. First, combine two gross and hilarious words: Zit &Wart; then create your own groovey moniker : Zort.

Niki, my stretched out sissy, chose a boring teddy bear and named him Chubby. Together we loved those guys night after night. It became such a habit, I had that guy cranked under my sleeping chin all the way up until high school. We had sleepovers back then (without a hitch thank goodness) so there's many witnesses to me and Niki's madness: Hackworth, Little Red, Toley, Paula, Sop, and our born as a grown-up sister Monica.

I was cured of my cuddling sesssions with Zort after winning a student election in High School. Cranked in the fetal, I laid in bed curled up with Zort under my chin only to have the covers ripped off while still in the middle of my REM cycle, by none other than the cooler older girls that were leaving office. Surprise! Early morning breakfast for the new student officers!

Dazed, I shot up in bed and swung Zort desperately on the ground against the wall. I said a quick prayer that coolgirls Liz Moss and Missy Thatcher didn't see my monkeychild, and stepped out of bed, onto Zort's head, and changed into my clothes.

My mother was warned ahead of time to make sure I was wearing PJ's and didn't shock innocent Idahoans with a sports bra and panties. Apparently she didn't think about Zort and the possible persecution I could have received when the high school learned I still cuddled with my stuffed monkey. Lucky for her no one mentioned anything, but there was still a price for this folly.

I vowed to myself my monkey love was over. Over dammit! Then I relegated him to the shelf for many many moons. And just look at that sweet face? Do you think he's forgiven me?

I eventually let him back in the bed while serving 18 months in the nunnery for my church. Three months into the mission I wrote home:

Enough is enough! Send me the monkey!

He was later replaced by a Mister of the House, and so Zort became resident plushie to Rainbow Girl. He's currently enjoying prime real estate on her bed, but he knows all too well how quickly that can change.

And Mrs. Olsen will be quick to squeeze in a one-night stand should Rainbow Girl ever. Thoughtlessly. Chuck him on the floor then step on his head before shelving him for life.