Energy Hog Meets Video Star

When I was in 7th grade I went to a school that looked like a prison and had a hairstyle fitting for a criminal. If you were to stand outside the school, you would see mullets and ratty hair floating body-less from the state penitentiary windows which were set no lower than 60 inches from the floor. Did I mention the school was concrete blocks? Unpainted? With no windows from which you could get a decent view? And had to be closed down a few years back while they detoxed the asbestos from the premises? (NOTE TO HOMETOWN: Get a new school!)

And yet while I did my term there, what with my permed hair and white-washed jeans, I didn't think of architecture as enhancement to my education. I was only aware of E S P R I T bags casually loaded with hairspray, combs, gum, and magazines draped on lockers purposely cracked in order to display our latest in Idaho fashion accessories. I saw Guess Jeans and Converse shoes, and grocery store delis across the street so I wouldn't be caught in the school cafeteria during lunch hour. And like every American-made kid in 1987, I beleaguered my parents with the fact (like all my siblings) that I needed a Nintendo so I could save The Princess.

It worked! All five kids on Apache Avenue got a Nintendo that Christmas and it came with Super Mario Brothers. I plunked my butt down on the couch the entire Christmas break, and cleared a huge stash of Christmas ribbon candy while I learned about crabs of death, mushrooms for growth, and dragons of fear. All the while I chomped on some of the crummiest candy invented.

I gained fifteen pounds that Christmas break, and I didn't even save the princess. But I kept working throughout my 7th grade year, and eventually I made it all the way to the 8th world, on the 4th level, where I met my fate with my final and last dragon to save the bloomered and bonneted Princess.

And then I was cured. I went through high school and college watching boys (and men) live and die for video games, and thought they needed to get a life.

The point is that after years of prodding, The Mister of the House finally convinced me to get a Wii (what with the family games and live-action-off-your-rear aspect of the whole enterprise). And soon after that, we went to the Wii store online and purchased the classic 1980's Nintendo Game Super Mario Brothers.

And it has been on my Wii for about a year. Once in a while I would sit and try my skills, die a quick death, and go fix dinner.

But this March, the bug bit me and I decided I needed to save The Princess. And this week I discovered how to warp to world 8 and it threw another log onto the fire. And today? My kids have been eating Cap'n Crunch while I practiced and practiced until my left thumb was aching (cringe) and guess what?

I saved her. And I squealed just like a princess, and my kids (bless their little hearts) cheered for me.

IN YOUR FACE DRAGON! IN YOUR FACE!

Okay, so I got caught up with Mario and became a bad mom and now that I can breathe again I can step away, cross the street, and study the architecture of this situation.

FACT:

• A 50-inch Plasma TV, when turned on for five hours in one day, uses the same amount of energy as a refridgerator (the most common energy hog in your household).
• I'm quite sure that when including the nature documentary the family is watching this Friday night, my 52-inch Plasma TV has been on on for five hours today (cringe. again.)
• Tomorrow I will try to make up for it by honoring EARTH HOUR (and you should too). Even the temple is doing it.
• From 8:30 to 9:30, it's LIGHTS OUT.
• Got that! Saturday March 28th, pull out your candles and have a romantic dinner, tell ghost stories, or suck your thumb in the dark while the LIGHTS ARE OUT between 8:30 and 9:30 pm.