Edible Heritage Remembers...

You've heard this old wives tale right? A woman cooks a ham and instinctively slices both ends off before putting it in the oven. At the table, her kids begin wondering: "Why do you do that?" and she says something like Well I don't know, my mom always did it. Let's call my mom!

BRRrrring!: Hi Grandma, why do you cut the ends off your ham?

"Well I don't rightly know. But my mother is still alive [can you believe it readers!] and since she doesn't have a phone, I'll just walk over to her cabin in the woods and ask her [or something like that right?].

So the story goes back however many generations that remember or are alive until you get to the bottom line: Some old pioneer woman/grandma/ancestor/saint had a little wood burning stove and the only pan that would cook a ham was too small, so she always lobbed off the ends first.

Ta-daaaa...we've all heard this one before right?

The thing is, there's something to this story. Besides the indelible mark parents make without even trying (which is not where I'm going with this entry), there is a food culture that persists in families, overtakes generations, or merges with the eccentric weirdos from the East Coast you married into.

And you don't even realize it's your food culture until you either:
a) finally get out of the house and go to college
b) live in a foreign land, or the Southern States

c) get married (that will really blast the spotlight on your unique food culture, that one).

And so it wasn't until I merged with The Mister of the House and became Mrs. Olsen herself that I realized the foods I regularly ate around Apache Avenue were uniquely part of my edible heritage. And foods that The Mister could not understand because of his own upbringing.

So tell me if I'm weird, or if The Mister of the House needs to live abroad and expand his horizons:

Apache Avenue Homestead, now serving:

Buttered toast dipped in hot chocolate

French crepes served thin and hot. Spoon some

cottage cheese down the center and roll it up!

Then slather with mashed and sugared peaches.

[the only way the Olsen's eat crepes is with an omelet center

with a cheese sauce...or berries and cream. I'm a big fan of all these

ways, but I still love my Apache Avenue version the best]

Chocolate chip cookies dipped in milk.

This seems so simple and necessary to life, and yet The Mister wonders

why I love it so. He's out of line now isn't he?

Hearty wheat bread, toasted, buttered, and jammed. Top

with scrambled egg with melted cheese. A perfect blend

of hearty, sweet, and salty.

Okay, now that I think about it, I think that I created that myself from

what my mom threw on the table. I doubt my siblings ever ate that, but

it tastes so good to me. I try not to eat it now, because my arse is

square. But on the rare occasions I do eat it, I enjoy

watching The Mister dry heave.

Cream peas and potatoes.

This was a childhood staple made from a white sauce with cut up spuds and peas.

My mom turned us into rabid dogs when she cut up hotdogs and threw them

in the mix. Sadly, I have never fixed this for the Mister. When I do, I will probably

revert to my nine-year-old self and pick my nose at the table.

Jell-O surprise!!

I am quite sure that when and if I fix this for my kids, they will eternally sing

praises to their Grandma for creating such an odd concoction. Do this:

a) prepare jiggly sugary Jell-O according to package directions

b) pour into a casserole dish

c)cut up gum drops and throw them in the liquid before it sets up

d)top with real whipped cream, none of that Cool Whip crap

e) eat Jell-O with semi-soggied gumdrops and love your mother

So I would love to hear anyone else's weird food culture items that are lingering through the generations. Or at least back me up on my amazing dishes from back in the day.