Week of Love: Friday

See what life is like in the Amazon, where all the women in the family are six feet tall...

When my two brothers married tall, thin, gorgeous, athletic, six-feet-tall Amazon women, then Mrs. Olsen officially became the troll of the family. Whenever we get together for the girls weekend, the sissies-in-law, together with my own blood sister Niki (also six feet tall) generate mall buzz from every trendy male wondering if they all play basketball. The troll (me) and the runt (my littlebig sis Monica) go in for the sales after sending in the Amazon league in for the block.

Where they dazed civilization like giant stunners from the jungle, Mrs. Olsen merely seemed to be raised by monkeys.

Meet Keri. She was the first person to marry into my Apache Avenue clan. She dated my brother when I was a wee girl of eleven or so. The first time he brought her to meet the family, I sat on her lap. Farted. Then licked her forehead.


Oh sorry, you don't speak monkey? Right. So Keri, that actually meant that I thought you were funny, beautiful, smart, witty, and I wanted you to marry my brother. Thanks for taking the time to catch the translation.

Keri? This public humiliation trial is allowing you to heal right? How about the Olsen's? Are you still there? Do you still love me?

To all of you. Sorry.

Sooo...Derek and Keri. What makes their love unique? He's a tease, but not in a mean way. She's got wit sharper than a two-edged sword. This smalltown Idaho boy stunned the family when he decided to be a doctor. She wowed the planet by working her way up to Chief Financial Officer of the University Hospital, slashing the bro's tuition while earning several digits herself. I mean, I don't know whether to groom the locks for lice or take up note-taking on my clipboard whenever I see Keri. Needless to say, when the bro finished his forever tenure as overworked student, Keri stepped away from the glory and fame of being tall, gorgeous, and corporate and started raising up giant offspring that dominate the basketball court. The brother's adorable goofiness, combined with Keri's wit, makes for the most beautiful duo. And amidst their many talents and experiences, you'll usually find them away from the hoity-toity board rooms and running to the next game of their kids.


Mrs. Olsen has to add, that when I finally got this picture, and started doing a little cropping and tinting on Picasa, I was smiling the entire time. Just look at my brother's smile! I can hear his weird laugh just looking at it. I'm so excited to have this picture on my kissing wall, because I know it will cure the blues on a bad day.