Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Farewell Spongebob

After moving to the country, we decided to be chicken lovers and bought some baby chicks. The Mister of the House loves them so much he built them their own cottage in the backyard. And my oldest child, Rainbow Girl, well let's just say her Saturday morning cartoon days are over!

Rainbow Girl: Mom, can I have some chocolate frosted sugar bombs for breakfast?

Mrs. Olsen: What dear? I can't hear you over the anguished clucks of your starving chickens. Get to work!

And it's not just losing the mind-numbing Saturday past-times that gives me such pleasure, it's the rush to get our "chicken work" done before school even starts. Let's follow Rainbow Girl, shall we? Here we are on a school day, rushing to get her work done before she has to go to The Big House.

This ain't no Bridge to Nowhere. Take me to the cottage, pronto!

First my disturbingly bow-legged daughter pulls some fresh feed out of the bin (that is an optical illusion by the way, what is up with that?). We buy the feed that has no antibiotics, because we're not doctors and we think our chickens are fine the way they are.

Good Morning Martha! Good Morning Agnes! What's up Samantha? (You would not believe the names we have come up with for our our winged friends. The Mister of the House will bring home a new chicken and spend more time naming them then he did with his own offspring! I tell you he looooves those chickens).

Here's Rainbow Girl bringing in the fresh stuff and loading it on top. And would you just look at that kid? No farm girl is better dressed.

After greeting Rainbow Girl personally, the chickens take the back door to get some fresh air in the yard. This is where Rainbow Girl throws them our food scraps. Who knew what our feathered friends would gobble up? They love melon rinds, banana peels, zucchini, cucumbers......rice and curry. (Yes, rice and curry. But only when these leftovers have the rare opportunity of being overlooked in our fridge). Samantha, Martha, Agnes, Pepper, Guadalupe.....they have put our combost bin out of business.

Rainbow Girl has to do a couple runs between the cottage and the house. The outdoor water station gets changed everyday, so there's always a way for Agnes to cleanse her palate between the main course: rotten cucumber rinds, and dessert: double-chocolate cake (hello? Of course I was kidding. Chocolate cake only lasts about 73.6 seconds at my house. These ladies practically kill each other to eat a grasshopper....I'm not wasting cake on them).

After digesting their 7 course meal and getting some fresh air...the chickens eventually lay some eggs. They need some time to do it, we let them get to their work while Rainbow Girl is at school.

And would you look at their individual cubbies crafted by The Mister of the House? They have nice fresh wood shavings so they can get cozy when they need to....well.....you know. It's......uncomfortable. They cluck really loud and I feel like I'm going through childbirth again. I have to run away.

We make sure that whenever Rainbow Girl harvests these little protein wonders, she says thank you to the chickens. It's hard work! Thank you Martha, Agnes, and Samantha!

My point and shoot camera is not doing justice to these eggs. The one front and center is from our favorite lady, Samantha. I would add that no camera ever invented could make Rainbow Girl look bad, what a cutie!

Now Samantha, she's the white one with light green feet, and her eggs are the same color....a beautiful light mint green. This is how she got her name, in honor of Dr. Seuss. I will not eat them Sam I am, I will not eat Green Eggs and Ham! What was that? You guessed it! Yep, The Mister of the House did come up with that one. I only came up with Guadalupe, and I can't even remember which one she is.

So now it's back to the house to get the eggs rinsed off and placed in the fridge. What was that sweetie? I'm sorry we can't watch Spongebob Squarepants, we've got an egg delivery to make!

Rainbow Girl gets some eggs packaged up and ready to deliver to her select clients: Grandma Cozy as well as some of those genetically-mutated Olsen Aunties. It's great spending some time in the kitchen with my little girl. We talk about how her day went.

No kidding, there's a new boy in your class, huh?

Rainbow Girl: Yes, he's sooo different from everybody else.
Mrs. Olsen: Different? That's okay.....what do you mean? Is he taller than everyone else? Does he have buck teeth?
Rainbow Girl: No mom, he's just...*sigh*....different.
Mrs. Olsen: Well....what's his name?
Rainbow Girl: I don't know! I have a crush on him though.
Mrs. Olsen: You don't even know what a crush is. It's an orange drink! That's all a crush is okay? An orange drink! It's called Orange Crush, got it?


After all of this chicken stuff on top of Rainbow Girl's full day at school, her homework, reading time, 3 meals, riding her bike around the block, wrestling the little brother, making her bed, and brushing her teeth.....then she's ready to call it a day.

The next morning we wake up and start all over again.

Rainbow Girl: Mom, can I have a jumbo pumpkin spice muffin with a side of hot chocolate full of melting marshmallows for breakfast?

Mrs. Olsen: Hmmm. Well yes! Yes you can, but I get to pick your school clothes today.

Rainbow Girl: Okay! Okay! Okay! Please pass the bag of marshmallows while I wait!

Have a great day at school! Don't forget your bonnet and tell Whats-His-Face hello for me!


The Better Business Blog said...

What in the HECK!

She has a crush on a BOY!

I had better have an "overly protective father-intimidates-boy-who-had-better-be-on-his-best-behavior" conversation with him...

...what is his name again?

Gretchen said...

Ha ha! You are a fabulous story teller! It looks like you moved to a nice, dreamy place! I hope it's not too far away!

Patty-the-waitress said...

What a beauty she is! It reminds me of the times mom made me slave away at the Historical Farm.

Joe and Amy said...

You KILL me. And I have a feeling I'll be saying that often. I am thrilled to finally have a taste of Mrs. Olsen again! I have had tastes in letters I have saved and cool notes. I even have a small segment on an audio tape in the mish when you sang my blues away. "Where will I wander- I wonder..." Ahhh...Nothing to compare with Mrs.Olsen the great. I Love reading about your family and sweet Rainbow girl has one killer red coat. You ask her if Auntie Amy can borrow it. As faras the chickens go- well... they are all yours.

Your living a dream. It's fantastic.

paula said...

I had to contain my laughter (everyone is asleep) when I got to the end of the story. Nice outfit. Miss Rainbow Girl looks exactly like you! Growing up on a farm is a wonderful life for kids. I cherish my childhood memories of life on the farm before we moved into "the city". Bet you didn't know I lived on a farm did you?

P.S.-Glad to read that you feed your chickens seed without antibiotics. I'm all about the organics baby!

Kristen said...

Haha, "patty-the-waitress". I was like, who is that? Funny.

Anyway, Amber, love the entry. Rainbow Girl is so lucky to have parents like you guys. I can't wait until she's a Rodeo Queen in turquoise jeans and ratty hair. She can teach my kids a thing or two about chickens and the outdoors. But not crushes. Those are off limits for Eliza, probably forever. We'll see.

Lee Family said...

Okay, LOVE the story. Do I have to call my niece rainbow girl? Are you not disclosing names? just wondering. And do I have to call you Mrs. Olsen? cuz I just can't get that down. and well, you are Amma, or Ambo, or Louise. AND, rain has a CRUSH?? What in the world is going on?? She can't say that. She just can't - right? I miss you guys. I haven't seen lil' rainbow girl in so long she looks so big and it makes me sad. okay, trying to hold back the tears. She looks so much like you in our old pictures - don't you think?
okay, love ya.

Jerry and Kathryn said...

that's awesome you have chickens. too bad we don't live close so we can come and collect eggs for breakfast...i am jealous.

Mrs. Olsen said...

Kristen, I'm not appreciating the comment about turquoise jeans and ratty hair. Even when that was in style (my high school years in Idaho) they were never "in style", if you know what I mean. Good luck with the no-crush thing for Eliza...just like the no-pink thing I'm sure (*wink*).

I'm quite sure that her crush is over, I haven't heard another thing about this kid and she doesn't even know his name.

Paula, I'm still waiting for you to fill in the details of your life as a farmgirl? How did I never know that?

And Kathryn, please come by and I'll let you have some eggs (bait for a visit).